Child Bullying: What NOT to say as a Parent

BULLYING…. have you experienced your child being bullied

I have a four-year-old and a 2 year old now, so I can’t really say I have reached the stage where child bullying is prevalent or even relevant to my parenting journey, yet.

That said, I do often engage with my oldest son in conversation set around something along the lines of “so and so wasn’t sharing with me, or so and so took my toy, or so and so said they aren’t my best friend anymore…” so, it really is on my mind.

As a Mom, the most important thing to me is that my child feels safe communicating all their thoughts with me, especially their worries and fears, so I can be the one to help them. I am also mindful of the fact that every word I use makes a huge impact on their sense of self, their worthiness and their confidence.

So, what should we say and not say when it comes to conversations around bullying?

I am not an expert but I am a Mom raising my kids to be their most confident, happiest, kindest selves with a high certification in the school of life. I was a victim of abuse, I was bullied, I was abandoned. In my own healing I have uncovered the tools to become a whole, healed person, as well as the tips on how to raise our children to be confident and whole too.

Here are my thoughts on what NOT to say when your child comes home complaining about being bullied:

  1. Don’t be dramatic.
  2. Get over it.
  3. Deal with it.
  4. Life’s not fair.
  5. Kids are cruel.
  6. Toughen up.
  7. Fight back.

The above statements are limiting, shaming, destructive… not only that, you’re child learns they can’t come to you for support and guidance. We all know what happens then…. if you don’t know, watch “13 Reasons Why” on Netflix.

13 reasons why, Photo: Netflix

What SHOULD we say?

It’s not your fault, you’re not alone, how can I help?

 

VALIDATE, EMPATHIZE AND SUPPORT your kids. It is the greatest gift you can give them.

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Christina Masureik

Christina Masureik

Originally from the states, I moved to Cape Town in 2008 with my South African husband. Still very happy and content in Cape Town, we now have two kids together and are both desirous entrepreneurs, passionate about creating jobs and helping others.